After a period of miserable weather, it was a relief to head down to Winchester for the first league match of the season at Easton and Martyr in lovely Spring sunshine. Would the sunshine Gods look down on the 3’s and deliver a rousing victory to kick-start their hopeful promotion surge? The answer was a resounding “no,” with Oakley leaving the collegiate home of man-of-the-people Rishi Sunak with their proverbial tails between their proverbial legs.
Both skippers were genuinely unsure what to do in the event that they won the toss so, after skipper Dan called incorrectly, there proceeded an interminable minute in which the Easton skipper sucked the air through his teeth, ‘umm’d and ahh’d’, and gently shook his head before opting to have a bowl and see what the Oakley top order was made of. The answer? The consistency of milk-soaked Weetabix.
Dan felt the vomit rising in his throat after playing a hideous shot to a full toss which somehow managed to strike glove, pad, knee roll, and inside edge before the merest tickle to the leg stump sent the bail almost begrudgingly out of its groove and apologetically onto the ground. The JFK Single Bullet Theory had nothing on this, with Dan looking around for a grassy knoll, shady figures on an underpass, and well-dressed tramps.
After his heroic 87 not out the week before (which he genuinely does not like to talk about) it was great to see cricket as the great leveller playing its part and utterly ruining his weekend.
Benjamin was next to go, absolutely middling the ball to someone to take a smart catch (I can’t reliably report where he hit is as I was still removing my pads and contemplating a long walk into the River Itchen, realizing that, sadly, it was too shallow to drown myself in). If Dan and Benjamin managed to fail quickly it was left to Adam to fail slowly, his single-digit score taking up 7 overs.
Next up was youngster Will McCarthy (Will-Mac). An imposing figure at the crease, Will’s time will come with more exposure to adult cricket but, with the ball keeping a little low, he played back and was soon on his way, bowled. Our other opener, Jeff, was quietly going about his business at the other end whilst chaos reigned all around him. Sadly, just as he looked as though a significant score might rescue us from the toilet bowl, he smacked one into the air to be safely pouched. A middling 30 for Jeff but a decent innings in the scheme of things.
Kris “Tuckers/Yer Tucknott/Big Kris” Tucknott was next to come and go, the Oakley batting line-up by now resembling a door in a shady backstreet of Amsterdam such was the frequency of arrivals and departures. Thankfully, the experience of Steve “Sausage/Merlot” Savage provided some brief hope before being sent on his way, cleaned up by a proper grubber. Not before passing 19,000 Oakley career runs, however – what a man.
A few lusty blows from Ryan and a genuinely enjoyable 12 from youngster Harrison Bird didn’t propel us to any score of significance. James Middleton was last man in, taking longer to get his pads and chest guard on, clean his glasses, and wipe sweat from his eye than he did at the crease, LBW for a single. Oakley finished up on 121 all out from 30 overs, nowhere near good enough.
To stand any chance, Oakley needed to come out all guns blazing and remove the top order of Easton sharpish. Dave Bowers picked up where he leaves off every season with metronomic accuracy. A spell of 8 overs resulted in 2-15, suitably stingy stuff. At the other end, promising Harrison Bird took his first steps into adult cricket and did not disappoint with as spell of 4-0-17-1. What a pleasure to see another of our Colts make the step up.
At the drinks we had Easton 61-5 with Jeff and James also nabbing a wicket a-piece. This was the ‘clutch’ position and we really needed to take a couple more quick wickets to stand any chance. Easton were only ever one decent partnership away from victory and so it proved with the opener playing a sensible innings and, after gently pressing the accelerator, the writing was on the wall.
Overall a very disappointing start to the season and we will certainly need to step up. However, the game was played in a good spirit, the sun was shining, I didn’t drown myself, 2 more of our excellent Colts made their steps into adult cricket, and the legend that is Steve Savage passed 19,000 career runs for Oakley. There are worse ways to spend a Saturday.
MOM – Steve Savage – an insatiable appetite for runs and a bloody lovely bloke.