Report from Steve Poulter
The Under 15s were back in action on Thursday at Oakley Park. Like a Hammer House of Horror film parody, the pollarding of the tree seems to have released an evil wind spirit that now plagues the ground whenever I attend a match there.
At another recent game I attended, the bails simply would not stay on, and one of the opposition players likewise couldn’t stay on to field as he suffers from ‘windy phobia.’ Not something many have encountered before and a crushing blow for his parents who wanted him to take over the family wind farm in years to come.
Indeed, the U15 Oaks were hoping not to suffer a curse of their own, namely the commentator’s curse, as they were facing bottom-of-the-league St. Mary Bourne. Two banana skins in one, with someone having mentioned they were currently undefeated in the last report. Surely they were now as done for as Rishi “Toast” Sunak? Well, with no early exit polls available (unless Bob mentions it on Facebook), you’ll have to read on to find out.
Oaks Make It Look Easy and Hard
Skipper Joby, this week starring as Van Helsing, won the toss and sent in his bats. Not the blood-sucking type, but George B and Ted G, although their mission was to suck the life from the bowlers and condemn St. MB to another defeat. A cracking start was needed and indeed taken, with Ted and George both hitting a number of fours early on and racing along. When Ted (23) holed out going for the big one, Oakley were at 34-1 after a few overs, and the other batsmen were licking their lips in anticipation.
However, like all the best horror movies, you need some gory scenes, and in quick succession, Will (8), Joby (8), and Zac (3) all fell to horror shots. Will pushed a soft one tamely back to the bowler, Joby fished at one wider than Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s arse, and Zac got one to go so high it came down with snow on it. George B (22) had by now retired, mostly in disgust at the shenanigans around him, and suddenly 71-4 didn’t look quite as healthy.
The Middle Order Brings Some Order
However, this is a good deep team and not one reliant on a handful of people making all the runs. Jake and Bhiela were now in, and with plenty of overs left, they kept their heads and their wickets while picking up some runs. Bhiela (7) finally went, clean bowled for a hard-worked seven, but he hung around while Jake was playing some fine shots at the other end. Next man in, Brin (9), did the same for his score, and Oakley crept, like a rotting zombie, over the 100 mark.
Sadly, George Burden and Ellis both went for a pair of ducks, which meant George B was back in. He calmly strode to the crease and just as calmly swept the ball to square leg, leaving Jake (17) stuck. Oakley all out for 116 with some real Jekyll and Hyde batting on display from a number of players today.
Could Oakley raise their game back up like a Mummy from the tomb, or were they a sketchy collection of parts like Frankenstein’s monster about to be torched in the clubhouse by angry parents with pitchforks?
Return of the…
So Oakley had some work to do, and one thing this team has shown so far this year is resilience and the ability to get the job done. The whole team looked lively in the field and with the ball in hand.
Bowling well from the start, they picked up wickets on a regular basis, skipper Joby taking one in his 2nd over and Will getting his first one a few overs later. Bhiela removed their danger man later with a catch from Will, while Jake ran out another a few balls later. Zac picked up one in his 4th over, but it was Will driving the proverbial stake through the heart of St. MB, taking 4 wickets for just 7 runs, two clean bowled, a smart catch by George Burden, and Will with his own caught and bowled to finish them off in the last over.
So Oakley ran out winners by 26 runs, marching on like some sort of cricketing werewolf into the night. Does anyone have any magic silver bullets to stop this monster team? Hopefully not!