Grey Skies and High Stakes
Well, here we are, folks—heading into the penultimate weekend of the season with grey clouds skidding across the sky, reminding us that autumn is nigh. But who cares about the weather when the end of the season promises to be a nail-biter at the Theatre of Scenes? Both the First and Second XI are right in the thick of it, battling for glory in their respective leagues. We are talking the barest of margins here guys.
The First XI: A Promotion Puzzle Wrapped in a Conundrum
The First XI find themselves in second place after a stellar run of form, which included taking down the runaway leaders, Basingstoke, and second-placed Chawton. Normally, second place would secure a promotion spot, but not this year—because who doesn’t love a good curveball?
To keep it simple (simple, ha! ha!), The Oaks can still get promoted, but it’s more complicated than trying Pythagoras’s theory whilst six pints deep . There are two wildly unlikely scenarios that could see them through. The first involves Basingstoke pulling a “Devon Loch” and losing their remaining two fixtures, while The Oaks would need to win both of theirs by a handsome margin. Easy, well not quite.
The second scenario is even trickier: if Basingstoke’s second string finishes below mid-table in County One, they’ll drop to County 2 next season, and Basingstoke 3s would be denied promotion. The Oaks would still need two big wins, but hey, it’s not impossible—just improbable. Go on, get yourself a stiff drink.
Hartley Wintney: The Tricky Obstacle
Before any of that can happen, The Oaks must first negotiate a tricky fixture at Hartley Wintney, a team on fire with five successive wins. Getting a result there would be a tremendous achievement, but a defeat would make all the above scenarios as relevant as a keynote speech by Liz Truss. The Oaks are traveling with a strong side, so expect an excellent game against a good side who will be looking to finish the season strong.
The 2s: Three Horses and a Caveat
The situation with the 2s is also far from straightforward, so pour yourself another. They’re in a three-horse race with Herriard and Basingstoke 4s. However, since these two rivals play each other on the final day, two wins for The Oaks will see likely them promoted barring a set of scenarios that include weather and those two sadists, Duckworth & Lewis. Even better, two big wins and a Herriard loss could crown The Oaks as champions. While that’s a long shot, promotion is still firmly within their grasp if not the title.
But wait, there’s a caveat—because cricket loves caveats. The Oaks must first overcome Sherfield, who inconveniently possess two of the best batters in the league this season, which is a bit of a nuisance. Get them out cheaply, and a big win is possible; fail to do so, and the promotion dream could vanish quicker than Nigel Farage exiting Clacton on Sea.
I’m backing The Oaks to keep a cool head and get the job done. A good job too, as I am playing.
The Third XI: Fun, Freedom, and Farewells
Unlike their pressure-cooked counterparts, the Third XI can simply go out and enjoy themselves in their last couple of games. A win last week was a major boost, and here’s hoping they can build on that. Plus, we all get to witness Dan“tons are like buses” Beckell reaffirm his status as the league’s leading run-scorer. 40 years waiting for that elusive century then he gets 2 in one season. What a geezer.
This weekend also marks Jeff Triner’s last home appearance for The Oaks. Let’s hope JT goes out with a bang. Jeff’s been a great servant to the club, and his retirement has been on the cards as he looks to pursue his cycling hobby without a shattered back. Good luck, JT, Tall Jeff, Jethro, TJ, The Trin—you’ll be missed but not forgotten, especially that golden moment with the paper towels when Newfound had turned into a fishing lake.
Weather: The Ultimate Spoilsport
Of course, this is cricket we’re talking about, so all these scenarios could be thrown into disarray by a rogue weather front that’s set to sweep in on Friday night. There’s a 50/50 chance of a washout on Saturday, so it’s just a case of watching this space and hoping it misses us. Whatever happens, you can bet the calculators will be out again on Saturday night.
Oh my goodness, the tension, the drama, and indeed the buzz, are too much to take.
On we travel…