So, here we go again, another weekend of cricket with only an outside threat of thunderstorms on Saturday before they really get going on Sunday.
It would almost be funny if Saturday was washed out, as it has been an epic week of molehills becoming mountains down at ‘The Theatre of Scenes’. I was going to say no one does micro-drama like Oakley, then I realised it is in fact, standard procedure in any village cricket club, in any county, or any state, across the world.
Bob’s Dream and a Dique Return
Centre of the action this week, was untalented chairman, Bob Lethaby, who, on Sunday, was informed he was one of only three bowlers charged with taking down table topping Alton 3’s. Bob spent the early part of the week dreaming of taking an heroic 5 for 15 off 8 Overs. This, despite a left kneecap akin to a Rich Tea biscuit that has been brutally assaulted by a club hammer.
As Monday drifted into Tuesday, some cricketers became available. As a consequence, Jack began to realise that behaving like Lance Corporal Jones from Dad’s Army, was a tad premature. One of those available cricketers was Gerry Dique, a former Oaks batting legend and title winning skipper. Jack was already halfway up the M3 waving a banner saying, ‘WE’VE GOT GERRY DIQUE’ when First XI skipper, James Bayliss, brought his fantasy to a predictably shuddering halt.
Bob’s Nightmare under Field Marshall Triner
Still, the numbers were increasing so much, that Bob began to realise that his dream of skittling out Alton was about as likely as Boris Johnson telling the truth. “Should I cancel that overtime shift at A&E”, said his partner, Jennifer. “Good God, no darling, I’m off to Newfound to dismantle Overton Threes”, shrilled the chairman, defiantly. “Jeff will be delighted to have me”.
With the availability numbers now soaring to 36, would this turn out to be a ludicrously grandiose assumption? Put, simply, yes, it would. Jeff was now ruthlessly discarding players in the manner of Field Marshall Haig mercilessly sweeping soldiers into a dustpan on the final episode of Blackadder Goes Forth.
Triner dealing with surplus numbers
Then, on Thursday morning, the teams were announced. The name, Bob, was not on the list. He spent the next ten minutes with the words “DO NOT LOSE YOUR SHIT” racing around his head like a fairground waltzer with the announcer bellowing, “HOLD TIGHT, HOLD TIGHT, EXTRA LONG RIDE THIS TIME”.
Then he lost his shit on the committee WhatsApp group.
So, with all the dramas done, we have good availability, but Lord knows how many changes to the teams. So many, that I won’t name them, you can you see for yourself at the bottom of this preview.
First XI v Hook
The First XI travel to Hook 3’s looking for some ‘bouncebackability’ after last weekend’s chaotic example of how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Notable changes include the absence of skipper, James Bayliss, the return of Paddy Saines behind the stumps and the unfortunate late withdrawal of Matt Burrell (back you come, Ian). Gerry Dique comes in for a little foray back into cricket, with everyone praying he enjoys himself. It is also good to see Charlie Ead back from injury and holiday. Charlie is an imposing, game changing figure, who has been missed.
Opponents Hook 3’s have had an up and down start to their season featuring 2 resounding wins and 2 crushing defeats. So, you have more chance of predicting what the weather will be like on Boxing Day 2026. Much depends on the availability of their higher teams but it is always a tough gig for The Oaks, this one.
To achieve success, The Oaks, a good side, need to instil in their heads that cricket is a game where dominance can cause complacency, then capitulation. A job half done is no use, it has to be ruthlessly completed. It will be good to see if lessons have been learnt from last week, as continued presence around the top of the league depends on it.
Second XI v Alton
The Two’s entertain a rampant Alton 3’s team who are already looking like hot favourites for promotion. I would go into all the changes to the Oaks team but the game will be finished by the time I have worked them all out. Please go to the bottom of the page for the information you require.
The Oaks showed their early season chameleon like colours last week by thumping unbeaten rivals, Overton, in what was a rousing fightback after flailing at 4 for 3. That should give them confidence to mount a strong challenge.
Whether that challenge will result in turning over Alton, remains to be seen. It should be a good game though and if The Oaks can pull off a win, they will be catapulted right into the promotion mix. That’s the incentive, right there.
Third XI v Overton
The Three’s go to Newfound on the hunt for their second win and a 2-1 overall victory in the B3400 derbies. Again, I don’t know the team, only that I am not in it, which must mean it is ace. Not having a pie chucker in his team may be a decision Jeff regrets for anything up to a week.
The Three’s have had a stuttering start to the campaign with a first day victory followed by two defeats and a cancellation. At a glance, they have enough bowling and batting to make a good fist of what promises to be an even contest.
Overton are a similar side but as is always the case, they too, will be defined by the availability in the teams above them. An interesting clash this, especially on a pitch that can on offer a broken toe on one delivery followed by a smashed in nose the next. They’re talking about rolling it one day.
On we Travel
So, another Saturday where just about anything is possible. It looks like a day of high humidity and an increase in towering cumulonimbus clouds as they day goes on. Any thunder in the air will only add to the tension, the drama, and indeed, the buzz.
It’s hard to imagine that some clowns have paid hundreds of pounds to go to Edgbaston when they could be watching The Oaks…For Free!
On we travel to I’m not sure where. Utopia perhaps?
