Third XI Rue Missed Chances as Victory Slips Away!


The Third string headed down to Twyford on a spectacular Saturday afternoon of wall to wall sunshine. We were greeted with a quintessential ground and perfect conditions.

Batting First

A team of old stalwarts, plus Adam, batted first. It looked a very good, if occasionally lively pitch. After a steady couple overs against good bowling, Jeff splayed one to somewhere around gully and had to go. He wasn’t happy.

Stand in legend, Marcus Carmichael, came to the wicket. He looked like he could play a bit, hitting a crunching four through the covers. Umpiring at the other end, Chairman, Bob Lethaby, was already writing headlines in his own head. ‘Carmichael Cashes In’.

However, Bob had fallen for the old ‘headlines in his own head’ curse (if there is such a thing). Carmichael lost sight of an excellent dipping delivery that he proceeded to play like Ray Charles trying to kill a wasp with a knitting needle. The poor bugger had wander off and contemplate why he had caved into the Tucknott rallying cry.

Tuckers and Chippy Dig In

Talking of Tucknott Senior, he was going along nicely and was joined by the perennially obdurate Carpenter senior. There is something beautiful about two seniors batting together whilst their boys are some 40 miles away representing the First XI.

In a growing partnership, Kris and Phil were looking increasingly assured, with Kris, dare I say it, looking like a cricketer. Phil, meanwhile, was batting like his personality. If his batting was on a restaurant menu, it would be described as, ‘heartwarmingly dour, with a touch of spice and a sprinkling of sarcastic glares’. One such glare at the umpiring chairman (who failed to give one of several leg side wides he would later regret) left Bob with his bottom lip wobbling like an admonished child trapped in the office of a no nonsense 1970’s headmaster.

The partnership soon passed forty and The Oaks looked steady. This included Phil hitting a crunching cover drive that would have had his talented son, Josh, shrieking, “Daddy you are my hero and you always will be!” but sadly, it had to end. A Tucknott leading edge was easily taken and Tuckers walked. The headline ‘Tuckers Tucks In’ was consigned to the recycle bin in Bob’s brain along with ‘Carmichael Cashes In’.

Enter Crazy Kalum

Kalum came to the crease and made a point of telling Phil to play with caution as his (Kalum’s) injured knee was hindering him. I kid you not, on the very the next ball, Kalum called Phil through for a quick single. In fairness to Kalum, Phil has spent the last decade of his working life approached by new colleagues saying “Are you Usain Bolt?” so it was a reasonable call.

Somehow they survived with Kalum determined to bat like a cat breakdancing on a hot tin roof whilst having its testicles periodically electrocuted. I’ve watched Phil bat on many occasions and he is not the type to get unsettled. However, by batting like he had to catch a 5PM flight to Sri Lanka, Kalum commendably achieved that goal. This resulted in a shot that left Phil with vomit rising up his throat as he departed for 24. Phil is a genuine competitor who doesn’t like his own undoing.

In fairness to Kalum, amongst the chaos, he was playing some fabulous strokes. If the incoming Steve Savage could just calm him down a bit, there was a big score to be had for the multi-talented maniac. However, Steve soon realised it was like trying to control a Cockapoo on speed and Kalum got cleaned up for, shall we say, an entertaining 27.

The Run Out and the Tail

Adam Triner came to the crease and showed signs he was developing as a cricketer, playing second fiddle to fellow youngster, Steve Savage. Sadly, just as he was looking more composed, Adam was run out. Seeing a 72 year old make his ground whilst a 17 year old doesn’t, is what makes third eleven cricket such a thing of beauty. Frustrating for Adam, but hopefully a lesson learnt about backing up.

When Steve went for an admirable 23, it was down to the tail to get us to a good target. Everyone chipped in. Ollie (9) was unlucky to be the only LBW victim of the day and Rav (7) and Savindu (11 no) slapped a few. Bob made a commendable 3 despite being heckled by a passing old lady in a mobility scooter, singing “if you can bat for Oakley, so can I” and that was it. 173 all out.

Defending the Target With Super Ollie Rabley

Could the Oaks defend the target? If Ollie had anything to do with it, yes. In an excellent partnership with a rapid looking Savindu Sapumanage, Ollie removed 3 of the top 4 batsmen with accuracy and no little swing.

The Oaks were fielding well at this stage (note the words ‘at this stage’) and were on top. However, the young opener, Stone, a class looking act, stayed firm. Savindu was unlucky not to get a wicket and the change bowlers JT and Rav also did well. A highlight was Rav going, slapped for 4, wicket, slapped for 4, wicket, in his first over. Kalum, bowling nicely, also grabbed a wicket to leave Twyford apparently in trouble at 60-6, with drinks taken.

Oaks Lose their Mojo as Stone Takes Control

I am not sure what was in those drinks? Suddenly, The Oaks went ragged. The bowling lost its rhythm and the fielding was sluggish. Was it the heat, or had Twyford mischievously laced the orange and blackcurrant juice with horse tranquillisers?

Stone saw his opportunity and, supported well by Smith, began pumping anything loose to all parts. He was also grateful to be aided by some backing up that brought back memories of the Monty Python sketch, ‘The 100 yards for people with no sense of direction’ (see below). That’s Third XI cricket for you but it was a bit poor and the frustration increased when Smith was dropped twice, aided, it has to be said, by the ball coming out of the sun.

 

Looking for Answers

Skipper, Jeff looked for answers and Bob came on as a late throw off the dice. It failed miserably, but not as miserably as his figures suggest. Bob’s generosity with leg side wides whilst umpiring, was now haunting him. The Twyford umpire, like a self-respecting Tory MP, reneged on the ‘leg side leniency deal’ and punished everything. Bob was feeling stitched up like a proverbial kipper and it showed. His incandescence then began simmering to boiling point amongst poor deliveries and fielding that a wheelchair bound Stevie Wonder would have blushed at.

Then he remembered it was just a Third team game with a bunch guys who were tired and getting a bit fed up. Also, any misplaced and irrational anger at the umpire would have cast a shadow the innings of young Nick Stone. It was an excellent ‘through the gears’ knock. Stone went from 20 odd at tea to an unbeaten, bat carrying, 84. Fair play to the lad, a superb knock. He will go on to good things, that’s for sure.

In Summary

So, a good effort, really. Yes, we could have done better after tea and we know it. However, we have to take into account we are amateurs playing in the heat, in a Third XI. We started this team to ensure we all get games of cricket and enjoy playing for the Oaks. That’s what we did. Healthy numbers mean we are no longer a team of 9 players that gets skittled out for 50. That’s progress.

Twyford were good spirited hosts at a splendid looking ground. We wish them well for the rest of the season. A promotion challenge looks likely.

On we travel.